Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 
:iconnamidesu:

~NamiDesu

...Likes Porn :D
Sign up to follow this artist's work
ProfileGalleryPrintsFavesJournal
About Me Member Pornographic Connoisseur ...No, u.19/Zimbabwe Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 40 Deviations
227 Comments
2,554 Pageviews

Ugh...Fail'd

Thu Jul 9, 2009, 6:40 PM
  • Mood: Anguish
  • Listening to: "Here Comes The Rain Again" Euryrthymics
  • Playing: Guilty Gear X-2
  • Eating: ...Smoking.
  • Drinking: ...


Has anyone besides myself noticed my journal entries getting more emotional?

Pfft.
Just my imagination, I guess...

Well, I'm depressed.
And, I'm trying not to bitch about it, but:

I miss my friends, being outside.
Drawing, like I used to.

Just now, I got an IM, from my old crush, from when I was eight.
And, we've always been friends, even now.

Kevin.

"I'm going to be a father."

I nearly died.
Because, out of nowhere, this happens.
And, I'm a bit shocked.
He hasn't spoken to me in months.
Now, he just comes out, and tells me this.

I was like, "Wow...What are you doing, nowadays?"

Apparently, he lives in Texas, in a nice, house-
With his own two trucks-
A nice, big yard-
Good job in construction-
A dog-
And...A fiancee.

And, then I look at myself:

Shitty house.
Lives with mother, and two brothers.
No car (anymore).
ALMOST no money.
No job.
Shitty everything, practically.

I just started to cry, and told everyone I needed a shower.

It's bugging me.

That I'm afraid to do anything.
Take chances in life.
Do what I want-
Dream of.

I'm about the most ill person I know, right now.

I found a bottle my mother hid from herself.
And, I'm just drinking, again.
Rum and coke, honestly sucks.
I'm on my second 8oz cup.

I'm looking at myself in the mirror of my room-

And, I am wondering what happened to me.

I have no confidence.
I'm scared.
I'm breaking.
I'm wanting.
I'm incomplete.

...I'm selfish.

I wish I had more restraint.
More discipline.

4 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

deviantID

No deviantID yet.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Somewhere, out there...
  • Interests: Drawing, Hentai, Video Games...etc.
  • Favourite movie: Scarface
  • Favourite band or musician: Ozzy Osbourne
  • Favourite genre of music: Rock
  • Favourite artist: ...Myself? xD Yes, I am vain...
  • Favourite photographer: ...Like you know.
  • Favourite style of art: ...Anything Cute...Chibi...If that IS a style xD
  • Operating System: Linux (Under the Berayl Project)
  • MP3 player of choice: ...Ipod of Fail.
  • Skin of choice: The one I'm wearing right now...
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy ((Series))
  • Favourite gaming platform: Microsoft
  • Favourite cartoon character: Parappa The Rappa
  • Personal Quote: "...Shit happens?"
  • Tools of the Trade: ...I am a sex-machine ((Grr))...

deviantART Community Board

[x]

Webcam

Comments


:iconviralomnom:
~ViralOMNOM Sep 13, 2009, 3:33:27 PM
:iconmukuroishighplz:

--
AMERICA. FUCK YEAH.
:iconnamidesu:
~NamiDesu Sep 13, 2009, 11:48:02 PM
YOU ALMOST MADE ME PISS MYSELF, WHEN I SAW THAT! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! xD

--
"Are you kidding me?!"

".....Sadly no."
:iconviralomnom:
~ViralOMNOM Sep 14, 2009, 6:50:13 AM
To make you laugh. c:

--
AMERICA. FUCK YEAH.
:iconnamidesu:
~NamiDesu Sep 14, 2009, 10:45:55 AM
The first thing I think of, when I see that face, with Mukuro's hair, is Mukuro drawing his face on a pineapple. Then, they have little conversations, together...It would be his best friend.

--
"Are you kidding me?!"

".....Sadly no."
:iconviralomnom:
~ViralOMNOM Sep 14, 2009, 10:46:54 AM
xDDDD A rainbow pineapple?

--
AMERICA. FUCK YEAH.
:iconlota-chan:
~Lota-chan Aug 31, 2009, 11:11:53 PM
Hi remeber me. hope to draw with u again on isribble "Fon"! lol...
AWESOME PICS u got there. I nust go get AIM now. lolz
:iconnamidesu:
~NamiDesu Sep 13, 2009, 11:48:36 PM
You should gimme an AIM name, or an MSN, if you have one<3 We can chat, anytime! LOL

--
"Are you kidding me?!"

".....Sadly no."
:iconxxtehjesterxx:
~XxtehjesterxX Jun 26, 2009, 5:47:52 AM
kfufufu I know, I am so amazin :D

lol jk yer pics r cute :3

--
*~*Rewarded a kiss*~*
:iconxxtehjesterxx:
~XxtehjesterxX Jun 26, 2009, 5:47:03 AM
kfufufufu do you know who i is?? -appears from shadows- IT IS I! THE BELPHEGOR LOVER ARIEL! BWAJAJAJAJAJA

I'VE COME BARING PRON AND PROMISES OF RAPE!

--
*~*Rewarded a kiss*~*
:iconsasorichyan:
~Sasorichyan Feb 16, 2009, 2:16:38 AM
oh, i forgot to ask ^^;

are you a big grimmhime supporter or a ulquihime supporter? (stupid question)

I love both :XD:

But I really love your SolDizzy pictures! :heart: I hope I can see more!

Can I watch you? (as creepy as that sounds O.o)

--
Everyone makes mistakes, that's why they put erasers on pencils! :3
Have a crazy idea? This is where I make them happen [link]
Previous Page12345...Next Page

Site Map